All Shukra’d Up
This is an article that has it been sitting on the shelf of my mind for quite some time, awaiting the right time to write while gaining further insights.
Love making is more than sex
It is the kiss of the sky earth and matter
When you make love is earnest,
Know that you are unifying the creator with the creation
God transcendent with God immanent
I am relaying these concepts essentially to help men to maintain and cultivate an abundance of energetic resonance within themselves thus having extra to share with their partners or to channel into their creative endeavours/careers.
The Ayurvedic model enables us to reach and maintain our peak energy and rejuvenation while also educating/reminding us on how to live within natures cycles thus cultivating an ability to be aware when an imbalance arises.
Being in balance means the difference between an optimistic and content person thus one who can create a flowing, creative and free relationship or one that is always in conflict with themselves and their partner or at the mercy of their lower emotions. In a relationship we can fluctuate with regards to our intentions and emotions and this can lead to a breakdown of communication and romance. Too limit these types of outcomes setting up a foundation where True Universal Love can flourish is the key to a romantic synergy. Below I’ll outline a basic approach to cultivating an essence with the Ayurvedic principles to build such a foundation but first, we should ask a crucial question – What is True Love?
The human emotional state we refer to as Love may essentially be a mistake. We try to define love by what we feel viz chemicals, hormones, endorphins which are impermanent and fleeting thus why we fall in and out of love because we get far too attached to this high and when it declines we fall into the lower realms of the human condition. To truly universally love someone is to love the dance of light alike the Suns love for the Rose they both know they embody love but meet each other halfway to grow and become one.
True love is the mutual coming together of two Beings/Entities of the same Love/God, recognizing this in each other and devoting their energy to each other to achieve a higher consciousness of understanding themselves. Ayurveda may just have the tools to be able to help you build such a bridge to meet that wonderful soul halfway.
The ‘body’ of this article is inherently sexual and rightly so. I believe that man’s great weakness and inner turmoil apart from not being able to transmute anger without harming themselves or the people around them comes from the inability to overcome his sexual desire with his biggest strengths being born from discipline/cultivation of this energy and an understanding/identification of its potential.
In the Yogic Text’s Libido is seen as possibly the first stage to building the essence of ‘Oja or Chi’. Our sperm (Beeja) is the end product of the digestive element (Agni) of all our tissues/dhatus (rasa, rakta, mamsa, medas, asthi, majja, and shukra); once our sperm is cultivated properly it builds this essence of ‘Oja’ which then overflows and begins to move upward through our channels (Strota/Kundalini) and nourishes the heart (Kapha/Anahata) thus enabling a purer exchange of energy, attaining wisdom, knowledge and the pursuit to empirically understanding the Higher source/Spirit; but to achieve this we need to have a degree of discipline and grace (Alongside a Dosha pacifying diet/lifestyle) which takes time but essentially is the first step to undertake.
Take your time know your mind, find the keys to your divinity and what you’ll achieve will be real peace with the best present to be gifted being genuine presence.
In Ayurveda psychological problems are seen to arise from a lack of devotion as we lose our path and fall into doubt, bad decision making, self-loathing and resentment. If our minds can’t be still enough to be consistently ‘Present’ when our relationships fluctuate we must have devotion. Devotion in the sense of Self-love. If we have Self-love we will have the ability to share love and if this is present, we will have the capacity to give love and not seek a relationship just to receive love which will burn out your partner and start to dry out their well of love (Oja) thus leading to an emptiness that can start the decline of a relationship and fuel the lower emotions (Tamas).
Love is the force that gives warmth and inherently builds true happiness. If we strive to give love, then love will come to us and if love has a good base to flourish this will turn into a universal unconditional love that will be eternal and not just based upon a physical experience.
Relationships can get mundane and boring with both parties opting to remove themselves from the situation when things get boring or tough (this is typical Vata (air/space) behaviour) thus having a foundation/grounding is the key. If a relationship is healthy, we are healthy and to be healthy is to be balanced ie the DOSHA’S Vata -Pitta- Kapha and procuring a few traits that are wholesome also aids the process.
A quick list of things to try to make a trait of our personality prior to starting a relationship are –
- Open communication
- Relating ie ‘Having something to come back to when things start to fracture and splinter’
- The ability to accept your partners flaws and see through there mood swings and doubt
- Understanding change and the ability to adapt
- And once a sexual relationship develops having ability to identify when your Sexual Union is increasing your Ego.
Having this knowledge is great but If we are to set up a functioning stable and pure exchange of energy we must first have a vessel to harness this potential which is where Ayurveda has the answer.
Ayurveda expresses that the balance of the 3 Dosha’s among other things enhance our potential by creating a stable mind and governs healthy sexual functionality. As men we have an innate desire to feel attuned with the feminine and feel ‘whole/come home’ once again. In Ayurveda and many other schools of thought, the rejuvenating part of our sexual drive effects our mind and increases our Ojas/ Agni. If we replenish our sexual organs or Shukra we will not only see a healthier sexual appetite but will have more of the energy that governs our Will Power and spark the flames of self-love.
Like I said above the Shukra Dhatu’s health is the result of proper digestion/assimilation and elimination of all our 7 tissues(Dhatus) and once our tissues are in good condition this is when the essence called Oja’s can start to be produced. For this to happen a good Agni needs to be procured.
If we are aware of the basic function of our sexual organs, their full power and how to increase and replenish them we can tap into our higher potential and start to build a high energetic resonance with our life path and romantic partners.
The first thing to look at is whether our Shukra is healthy? Do we have good Agni?
The qualities of a high functioning Shukra/Agni are strong immunity, very good digestion, skin and eyes have a glowing essence, people are very attracted to these people as they bring a feeling of youth and warmth, strong nail and hair, high libido, clarity of mind or sharpness and ability to adapt and learn new things, a zest for life, good elimination thus no accumulation of toxins in the body (Ama-Toxins). All these are a sign that one’s Shukra is healthy.
As it is the end of result of all our 7 Dhatus it is of upmost importance to be aware of any imbalance along the way because if this occurs the quality of the tissues will be compromised. A few signs that you’re out of balance with your Dosha or true nature are tiredness, bad elimination, toxicity in the body or stagnant mind (Tamas/inertia) and infertility.
If we try to start a relationship with a woman when we are in the lower realms of energetic resonance, we will try to control her and be governed by a dysfunctional sexual drive and lead to the 7 lower emotions which are fear, possessiveness, greed, unforgiving, laziness, pride and anger. If you have this type of energy present, there is a potential for you to cause an energetic toxicity with your chosen partner/s as we open our Chakras from the root to the crown (kundalini) during sex; thus opening our energetic field and the potential for a toxic energetic exchange between two people – It’s called rooting for a reason!
If you feel you have these darker energies present and you still desire to interact on this level the use of Tobacco and Agua Florida should be utilized for protection and will decrease the likelihood of binding our energies in an unwholesome way. (See Ayurveda Ayuda Ayahuasca)
If you find a woman of a higher energetic field and you can’t meet her half way, she will end up mothering you and this will lead to among other things – resentment on both sides. The way to overcome this and stop this inherent heartache that is associated with this path is to increase our Sattvic nature. If we pay attention to eliminating toxins in our body, not only are we far more attractive to the opposite sex but we will start to increase Sattva which will increase our energetic resonance and persuade our best intentions to bloom into life. As a result, our desire and life drive will be pushed towards a higher cause. The qualities of someone with a high Sattvic nature is creative, emotionally strong with the ability to adapt, stability, blissful and positive and thus attract and inspire others. So, let’s look at some ways to harness our potential and become stronger, perceive the shortcuts thus becoming more attractive to the opposite sex.
Firstly, we need to understand that we are in our bodies for a reason. Sexual union can bring us into the space of the divine using Tantric modalities but firstly we need to become grounded in the process and create a solid vessel to sail the ocean devotion. The best way to do this is by building a solid foundation by nourishing our Dosha’s (Vata- Kapha-Pitta) and increase stability in our heart, mind and body – Spirit is a not associated with this work and is more the drive behind you sitting here reading this, rather than interacting on a conscious level per se. Food, lifestyle and herbology are the keys to the doors of bliss and stability. Ayurveda also advises utilizing the 6 tastes in each meal, the following Sattvic foods such as fresh fruit, land and sea vegetables, pure fruit juices, legumes. By increasing foods to our diet that are grounding and nourish our Earth element ie Ghee, Milk, Nuts, Whole grains, seeds, sprouted seeds, honey, and herb teas will aid the rejuvenation process.
As we start to nourish our body we also start to balance and nourish our state of mind into a unified desire rather than one governed by Ego. Ego ignites our desire, although desire is a good thing and is governed by the Guna ‘Raja’s’. If our ‘desire’ comes from a space of sharing Love, we will start to incorporate this higher state into our sexual life. Sharing is caring, and we tend to ‘share’ using the element of water ie sexual fluids and saliva. If we are more open and flowing in our hearts our pure intentions flourish and sexual union becomes less ego-less and more universal; pushing us into wanting to make our lover feel ‘Love’ in such a pure and powerful way that we feel satisfied from the process and not just from the end result which to ejaculate.
The mixture of chemicals that are released after intercourse ie pheromones draw us closer to our chosen partner but what is the massive catalyst to making us think we are ‘in love’ is ejaculating or sharing/mixing our water element. When we release our juices, we start to see a diminished state of grounding as Semen is associated with Earth (which is related to smell ie why perfumes and pheromones have such an effect on our arousal/attraction) If we have too much sex and we don’t have strong ‘Agni’ we lose our life’s essence and our state of mind becomes more heavy and can lead to depression and this is a stagnation governed by Tamas. If we have a lot of sex with a woman initially, there is a major tendency to see lust as love but also your partner will be maternally drawn too you more so as her mother nature is increased (Oxytocin)
This sounds great ‘She wants me’ but what she wants is the guy she met, not the guy that is diminishing his ‘Life Source’ and will begin feeling low on energy after a few weeks of sex and start to look un-vitalized and tired – Not very attractive!
One way that I have employed to stay Sattvic but also have a high potency and regular sexual drive is to employ the 21-day program. This has been used by a far few Tantric’s now and they have seen major changes in romantic relationships that understand this approach.
The idea behind this is that there is a base line of ‘feeling good’ that starts to diminish 3 days after you ejaculate and bottoms out after 5 days and doesn’t come back to base line until 21 days!! So, if you ejaculate too much in the initial period of a relationship you’ll lose yourself and your clarity and subsequently lose the quality of the relationship your trying to generate in the process.
Not ejaculating after sex brings you closer to your partner and the attraction stays high but also because the semen starts to move up the channels and nourish the heart and leads to a blissful state and devotional love.
As we start to understand Ayurveda and how she can play a major role in rejuvenating our being we will also become aware that Love is Universal and wants us to be vessels for creation and express this love through a higher understanding and virtue which leads to no possession/attachment and blooms a feeling of freedom from desire for both parties.
I hope this little snippet of insight helps you to become aware that a little bit of knowledge can go so far, especially with regards to our highest function in our body and our nectar – sexual desire.
Here are a few Ayurvedic life hacks for creating a better state to relate –
- Increase Agni
- Develop an understanding of yourself whether through Meditation or something that allows you to tap into who you ‘Actually Are’ on an Egoless/Atman level.
- Herbs that increase Shukra – Withania/Ashwagandha/Shativari/Ashoka. These are best infused with
- Ghee with milk before bed.
- Paying attention to your digestion first as you need to be able to assimilate them into your body, so if you have a bad Agni you’ll actually increase Toxins.
- Drinking Orange Juice with Trikitu in the morning to nourish Rasa (blood) and open the channels.
- Use colour therapy to pacify your Dosha – Especially lighting and the space you create in your ‘bedwomb’..
Become aware of the cycles of the day as having sex during periods may increase you Dosha which will inevitably lead to dysfunction.
These periods are –
Vata cycle is between 2PM and 6PM
Kapha cycle begins at 6AM and ends at 10AM
Pitta cycle of the day is between 10AM and 2PM. If you’re are Pitta you wouldn’t have sex during that time as it would increase Pitta and put you out of balance which may heighten the lower emotions that Pitta has i.e. anger, hatred, irritability, frustration, impatience, resentment, envy, judgment, criticism, a rigid attachment to one’s personal beliefs and perspectives, excessive ambition, and a ruthless desire for power.
These periods follow the 12-hour cycle and repeats again.
In closing, Men as much as Woman have a gift; This gift has the potential to nourish our hearts and attune us to something that is also feminine and nurturing viz Oja. To be a man isn’t to be masculine per se but solid, logical, rational, driven and have the strength to stay strong through everything that is thrown our way. To be soft with our words and have virtuous intent is the key to also aiding the health of the feminine thus completing the perfect circle of Ying and Yang. To know your emotions and how they fuel your desire is the first step to creating a place to relate that will come from peace and save much turmoil and resentment not to mention afflicting woman along the way with your insecurities. First learn and know yourself, it helps.